It suuucks getting older. The metabolism slows down, hangovers are death knells, and you can only shop in Forever 21 ironically.
Oh, and you lose friends. Have you ever had coffee or Skyped with someone who was once a good friend but you haven’t seen in years? After the initial thrill of catching up is over and you’ve gone through the list of mutual friends who’ve gotten fat, there’s then this staid awkwardness in the air. As you’ll sip those last dregs of coffee and bring up a few cutesy “Remember when’s,” you feel that those fuzzy-warm feelings of friendship past are there but something’s just different. When someone inevitably chimes that they’ve got to run, you’ll both promise to catch up more often and make nebulous plans to hang out again soon. And it’ll never happen.
I’m thinking about this because of this recent iVillage article, “Is it Normal to Lose Friends as You Get Older?” No need to sift through Stanford University psychologist Laura Carstensen’s “socioemotional selectivity theory.” Duh, yes, it’s perfectly normal to lose friends as you age, and it doesn’t need a fancy name, it just sucks. As we age, we change, and it’s up to you or your friends to either accept it or not. Here, five reasons why we lose friends: