almost adult

“Girls” recap. “Vagina Panic”

Crazy that I needed a whole post on racism and diversity before Lena Dunham could even offer a second episode recap. Let’s shift the conversation entirely about stuff that really matters…vaginas. Now I know that the Dems and Repubs have been politicizing on our lady parts for months now, but I wasn’t ready for this episode’s va-jay-jay hyper analysis on STDS, abortions, and menstrual cycles. I doubt my mom reads this blog, but recapping ep.2 is even making me bashful (and I get paid to write about Love and Sex). Let’s go!

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“Girls” racism backlash

This post is a little off topic, but let’s address Girls and the show’s apparent “lack of diversity.” Before poor lil’ Lena Dunham could even counter with a second episode, media folk have (more articulately) expressed:

BAH! Why is every major character WHITE? That black guy in the end is poor and scary! And that Asian is wearing nerd glasses and is really good a Photoshop! RABBLE RABBLE!!

It’s like they’re saying, “Homegirl, we don’t care that you’ve somehow written/directed/starred in your own widely acclaimed HBO show at the age of 25. You racist.”

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“Girls” episode 1 recap. This show is my life.

I’ve been wanting to recap shows for the longest time, but I never found the right show to start it with. Enter Girls, written, directed by and starring Lena Dunham, which premiered on HBO last night after much hoopla.

It’s a HBO comedy about four single women living in New York City—sound a little familiar to you? They’re just begging for the Sex and the City comparisons, heck even one of the characters calls herself a Carrie with a little Samantha. But it’s minus the glossy Manolos and rent controlled Manhattan apartments. A 20something-Recession era slice of life with shared living spaces and enormous student loan debt (ugh only 50K for one character, that happy chap). There’s sex, but it’s grimy and with unflattering lighting.

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Almost Adult of the Month: Donald Trump

April would have been a completely dull month if The Donald hadn’t stormed every headline with the ridiculous possibility of a 2012 presidential run. Congrats for winning April’s Almost Adult of the month, Donald Trump, you whiny, attention-seeking brat.

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Charlie Sheen: Almost Adult of the Month

The inaugural monthly post of adults acting very un-adultlike goes to magic man Charlie Sheen for winning, duh.

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Why hot chicks love Adam Sandler

Fact. More women in the work force than ever before.

Fact. More women in college than ever before.

Fact. More men can bag these aforementioned babes than ever before. 

When Slate came out with their Sex is Cheap article yesterday on why young, unemployed shlubs can score swimsuit models and financially empowered women with equal abandon due to their apparent availability (or desperation), I got to thinking that that’s hardly a new phenomenon. Just look at every Adam Sandler movie ever made in the history of his inexplicably successful career. Since 1995’s Billy Madison, there’s always a young, genetically perfect woman who he’s able to convince to look beyond appearances love the variations of the exact same characters he always plays. You know you’re watching a Sandler movie when, in the end, they all miraculously make him a better man.

Behold, five exhibits from the Sandler, Gen-Y film bank:

Exhibit A: Bridgette Wilson, Billy Madison (1995)

Acting as fine role model to children everywhere, Miss Vaughn plays strip history to get Billy to study. At least she’s doing it for the money—if he actually passes grades 1-12 he’ll land his pop’s fat inheritance.   

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Five favorite breakup movies

For those spending Valentine’s Day alone, nothing feels better than watching pretty people open themselves up emotionally and then tear each others’ hearts to shreds. These modern breakup movies have all the right ingredients of lost love. Dashed idealistic hope? Yup. Public screaming matches? Oh yes. Throw in a couple mental breakdowns and some pathetic man-tears and you’ve got your lonesome a winning 2/14! 


1. Before Sunrise (1995)

A scruffy American gen-X’er (Ethan Hawke) and a idealistic French woman (Julie Delpy) meet on a train in Europe and decide to hop off together in fairytale Vienna and have a perfect 24-hour relationship before time forces them to hastily part ways. Casting aside the convenience of exchanging phone numbers or addresses, the movie ends with the lovers promising each other they’ll meet again in exactly six months in the exact same spot. Do they or don’t they? Hate to spoil the ending but the sequel Before Sunset comes out nine years later to fill in the blanks.

Best “aww, how adorable” quote:
Jesse: You know what’s the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It’s when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they’re thinking of you. You know, you’d like to think you’re both in all this pain but they’re just like “Hey, I’m glad you’re gone”.

Could have worked if:
The idiots actually exchanged phone numbers or addresses.

Why it’s an awesome breakup movie:
Ahh, the one that got away. Let this be a lesson that being practical means you might lose your soul mate. Now let’s laugh at the smart, pretty people who just did. 

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How to get a guy: Turn into Blake Lively

Tired of not being noticed? Looking for tips on how to get a boyfriend? While some sites suggest tricking people into thinking you’re good looking, AskMen.com has simpler advice. The first and only step you need to take to go from womp-womp to “Who DAT?” is to turn into 23-year-old Gossip Girl star Blake Lively, who was ranked at the tippy top of AskMen’s annual list of the 99 most desirable women in the world.

“I know I was in only one movie last year…in a supporting role. But Affleck directed it, and I’m super hot so whatever,” The Town actress didn’t say. 

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